In 2011 the greatest blessing came to my wife and I, we were given a son. His name is Patrick. When I first held him in my arms I felt so anxious and excited at the same time. It was so confusing and hard to explain and the biggest questions I asked myself in that moment was – Am I ready to be a parent? Will I know how to teach this child to be a good person? What if I get it wrong?
As you can imagine, my anxiety levels were off the charts! I was so scared!
Throughout the journey so far, we have made some huge mistakes and found that we were bringing our son up with the hang ups that we had going on internally. With my childhood being very physically abusive, I had a lot of fear inside me that was playing out in the way I was communicating with Patrick. The biggest issue I had was my short fuse.
Even though I had already become a life coach and counsellor, I still struggled to be the parent I wanted to be. But where could I start? Why am I like this? How do I become the best parent for Patrick?
All very difficult questions to answer. See I wanted to make sure that Patrick had a better life than I had. That’s the way it’s supposed to go, right? Parents are supposed to ensure that their children are better off then their parents are.
I took some advice and went to see a therapist. The key for me was to understand what my anxiety is and how I express my anxiety. It turned out that I express my anxiety in an aggressive way and my wife expresses her anxiety in an avoidant way. Once we were aware of this we were able to move from being a good Mum and Dad to great parents. For Patrick, he changed almost overnight.
While we were working things out, Patrick could see the pain we were in and played up, acted out and got into trouble a lot so that he could turn our attention away from what we were feeling. This was his way of taking away our pain. The whole time my wife and I thought it was something wrong with our son, but it was us. We were teaching Patrick how to live with fear.
There was no book or magic pill that was going to help us with parenting. What we were finding out the hard way was parenting is the toughest job in the world. The judgement and criticism we get from everyone around us, especially family, made it so difficult. The number one thing that allowed us to become the responsible, respectful and loving parents we wanted to be was understanding how we express our anxiety.
Now, things have settled and Patrick is thriving, so too is my wife and I. We have learnt some huge lessons that are practical and have freed us from the chains we had on ourselves. This has had an amazing impact on Patrick and we are so grateful for this learning. Patrick now gets the support he deserves.
Now as a therapist that focuses on parental support and anxiety, I assist parents to recognise how they express their anxiety so they may build the relationships with their children that nurture their children’s strengths.
What I Offer
Recognise how you express anxiety and apply proven methods to control it.
Build the skills necessary to move towards an outcome that everyone can agree to.
Reconnect to love and take your relationship to the next level in a nurturing, caring and honest way.
Stepping into Your Power
Release yourself from the chains that hold you back for who you are and what you want.
The Stories of Success
Thank you, Luke Lee Tet, for our sessions.They are absolutely awesome!Lifted an overbearing burden off my shoulders, let alone my heart. I feel so free. Appreciation!!!!
Thanks again mate.I just enjoy your ability to guide me into finding the answers for myself. It’s not directly telling me everything. I think there is something powerful about arriving at your own conclusions and solutions. You also do it in a very easy and compassionate manner making me very relaxed and comfortable to open up.
Not only is it good to bounce things off someone who doesn’t really know me or my family, so you’re a neutral response and you can be brutal (in a good way) that brings me back down to earth and make me see that things are not as bad as I make them out to be.Also, you make me feel a lot calmer after our sessions and I can see a much clearer.
I Put my Mission Into Practice Every Day by ...
Bringing awareness to our anxieties and the impact of our anxieties on our kids. With the right structures and support in place our youth can connect to their strengths and thrive.